What is Mutual Masturbation?

So you and your partner are celebrating masturbation month? Congratulations! Give each other a hand! Well actually...keep your hands to yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be together! Let’s talk all about mutual masturbation and the amazing benefits it can provide both you and a partner when exploring your sexuality. 

What is Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is the act that can be looked at in various different ways and is subjective based on the people within the act. In most cases, both partners are stimulating their own genitals individually while, in less common definitions, partners are able to stimulate one another through the use of their hands rather than their genitals, mouth or anus. Rather than relying on intercourse, mutual masturbation is a phenomenal tool that can be used to satisfy needs while in unique circumstances such as a long distance relationship, awaiting STI test results, discovering how your partner likes to be pleasured and more. While these uses can be subjective based on various individualized needs, mutual masturbation can be just as beneficial for anyone. Stimulating oneself in the presence of a partner is fulfilling in a way that still gives you the ability to recognize their presence while you both pleasure yourselves. Matching your technique to each other’s stroke and locking eyes or hearing their moans while in the moment can give the illusion of the same intimacy that you would get while having typical intercourse. 

Long-Distance Relationships:

Imagine you and a long term partner are separated by a long distance. As much as you hold back, you can’t help but find yourself with the same sexual urges that you have when they are standing in front of you. Regular masturbation is always an option, but you miss that personal touch that came from having your partner with you. Phone sex might just be the answer you’re looking for, and it’s a form of mutual masturbation! Even while distanced, whether by a mile or across the world, masturbating (consensually of course) with your partner together over the phone can be just as rewarding as in person. It can add that intimate feel just by hearing your partner moan on the line or the heavy breathing as they stroke or rub their genitals as you talk them through it or do the same yourself!

Medical Reasons:

Whether it be after a surgery, an STI test, or even individual limitations such as vaginismus or erectile dysfunction, sometimes you are simply unable to have intercourse. But just like long distance, this doesn’t take away sexual desire. Physical limitations like this may be an obstacle, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be overcome. While genital to genital stimulation may not be the case, as long as you both are physically capable of stimulating oneself, then it can be just as rewarding.

Learning Preferences:

Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to stimulation and, for some people, communicating this can be difficult. Mutual masturbation with good communication can be extremely rewarding in the long term within a relationship. If someone tells their partner how they like to be rubbed or stroked, something might get lost in translation. Showing their partner while masturbating can be a learning tool for partners to see exactly how each other's bodies react at a certain touch or stimulation while knowing that’s exactly how they want to be touched. This can even be utilized with the growing popularity that is “Jerk Off Instruction” style pornography where there is an authoritative party that instructs their partner on how to masturbate in a way that teases them for long periods of time until orgasm or ejaculation. 

While these are just a few rewarding ways to look at mutual masturbation techniques, there are plenty of other reasons to look into this type of stimulation with a partner. Mutual masturbation is also one of the few 100% effective ways of preventing both STIs and unwanted pregnancies, so it is one of the safest ways to experience sexual activity with someone! You also don’t need to worry about any sorts of lube, toys or other intimacy products unless you need them for self stimulation. There are many reasons why mutual masturbation might be worth looking into, and while it might be awkward at first, in the long run it may just help in a way you never expected!